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Jealousy is an affective state, which in children is characterized by the fear of losing or seeing the affection of their parents reduced, mainly of the mother, due to the birth of a new brother to whom they will have to spend a lot of time during the first months of his life. Some experts believe that feelings of jealousy occur naturally when a sibling is born, they are part of a normal and necessary stage in evolutionary development, which help children to mature.
Jealousy is a natural reaction. Jealousy surfaces in children regardless of age. Parents must prepare their children for the arrival of the baby, promoting their self-esteem above all and making them a participant in everything related to the arrival of the new member of the family. In short, parents must act with affection, but firmly and without losing sight of their educational criteria. If, during this stage of jealousy, parents continue to dedicate the same time to their older child, and offer him the same love and affection that they showed him before the baby was born, those feelings end up disappearing.
It is very difficult to stop being the sun to be one more star in the universe of the family home, but there are some guidelines that we must take into account to minimize the effects of the arrival of a new family member on older children:
- Mentalize him. It is recommended that a few months before the baby is born we fertilize the land and prepare the older brother for the birth. It is also not recommended to do it too early so that it does not become too long. Towards the second trimester of pregnancy, it is good to talk to them about the changes that are going to take place, but it should be done in a language that they understand and without saturating them with too much information. They must understand the positive side of having a new brother or sister.
- Anticipate changes. If room changes are expected, it is best to do them before birth. Thus, we will prevent our child from thinking that the arrival of the baby will displace him and remove him from his place.
- Keep your routine. When delivery approaches, we should not change the daily routines of the child (time to eat, wash and sleep), even if they must go home to grandparents or other relatives. Whenever possible, it is preferable that you spend this time at home, surrounded by your toys and everything that gives you security.
- Avoid other changes temporarily. It is not advisable to combine the crisis of the arrival of a sibling with other important changes, such as entering nursery school or a change of address.
- Make an effort to pay attention. Try to continue spending quality time with your other child or children. Explain that when a baby is born, at first the routine of daily life changes a little, it is more hectic, but then everything will soon return to normal.
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